


Wintersong

by MacBeth13



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacBeth13/pseuds/MacBeth13
Summary: It's Christmastime and Rogue and Logan reflect on how much things have changed, and what they want most for Christmas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just taking them out for a Christmas themed jaunt.  
> Winter Song was written and performed by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson. As always with any songfic I do recommend listening to the song to understand the right atmosphere.
> 
> Author's Note: I wrote this story several years ago and never got the chance to post it. Due to movie releases it has gone through several subsequent drafts to correct canon errors. Only canon up to Days of Future Past, does not include Apocalypse. Hopefully it still makes sense. I'm determined to post this finally even though Christmas is now past.

                                    _This is my winter song to you_

_The storm is coming soon_

_It rolls in from the sea_

_My voice a beacon in the night_

_My words will be your light_

_To carry you to me_

_Is love alive? Is love alive? Is love…_         

 

 

                        Rogue looked up at the grey clouds hanging low in the sky as she walked back to the warmth of the mansion with her class of students. She had volunteered to help teach the physical education classes while Logan was away. They had just run laps outside while they still could. Rogue knew there was some serious weather coming in and it was no fun having a bunch of cooped up kids that couldn’t go outside to expend their energy, better to run out some of that energy now while they could. Storm could probably do something to alleviate the snowstorm headed their way but as the Professor had taught Ororo, sometimes it was okay to let nature take its course; and why stop a weather pattern when its result would be to bring them a winter wonderland just in time for Christmas.

                        Two days until Christmas, tomorrow was Christmas Eve and this day was nearly over, so only one really to get through if you didn’t count the day of. Rogue had finished all of her Christmas shopping. All of her gifts for her colleagues and friends bought and wrapped. All of the pretty packages in her room under her miniature tree with its colourful lights.

                        There was a time when, if someone had asked Rogue about the holidays, she would say she hated Christmas, but that wasn’t really true. She hadn’t hated Christmas, but it wasn’t enjoyable; she couldn’t help but feel melancholic during the holidays. The holidays were for family and warmth and loving and celebrating all the things she had gone so long without. It wasn’t until she had met Logan and they had come here to Xavier’s that she learned that family could be what you made it. Rogue had found her family, with this band of mutants, in this big warm house filled with children’s laughter. The laughter echoed off the halls just now as her and her class stepped inside and the students started planning a snow battle for when the snow finally arrived.

                        Yet even now Rogue had to admit she didn’t feel much like celebrating, she still felt the pull of melancholy, all because her family wasn’t quite complete. She missed Logan. Rogue pulled out her cell and called his mobile, the one she and the others had fought him to carry. She wasn’t surprised when she got the automated voicemail. She left him a message asking him if he thought he’d make it home for the holiday. She warned him of the impending storm. She also sent her love.

                        Things had been different between her and Logan after recent events. When she had first met Logan in that bar in Laughlin City she was still a kid in many ways, definitely compared to Logan anyway. She still possessed an innocence then that life’s experiences had continually tried to rip away from her and had sadly succeeded at doing. It was also no secret back then that she had had a crush on Logan, ever since she first saw him in the fighting cage. She really did care for him, crush or no, and lately it had begun to feel more than just a crush. Back when things were early on, before the war started and she was dating Bobby, Rogue and Logan had fallen into a more comfortable relationship. They were more like the ‘just friends’ he had insisted they were. She had nearly convinced herself she was okay with that, that she had moved on, and he had been so hung up on Jean then. Rogue had felt comfortable around him, friends with a special link, matched personalities in a way. The others didn’t get it, they didn’t get how two people, who on the surface were complete opposites, could have such a bond. They had joked around like old friends, shared stories, shared joys and pains no one in the mansion quite understood, life experiences that were far from whet they had known. Graduation for her had come and gone. All hell broke loose in the world; the cure that wasn’t a cure, the break-up with Bobby, going off on her own for a while. Learning that Logan wasn’t the only one with missing memories, that he also wasn’t the only one who looked younger than their actual age. Having Mystique, Raven Darkholme, of all people help fill in the blanks and remind her of her past. The return of hers and others powers. Returning to the X-Men. Discovering the Professor had saved himself, after a fashion. The strange string of events that reset time and erased the second mutant war, resetting things that had been done leaving most people with a vague sense of déjà vu and others at the centre of it to remember more, though none as much as Logan. He’d told her the whole of it. He was grateful to have his friends back, including Jean and Scott. Logan loved Jean enough to let her go, knowing she’d be happy with Scott, it was who she’d chosen at Alkali Lake and he had been through so much, grown enough emotionally, to move on.

                        Through all of it Rogue had hoped Logan would start to see her not as a kid but as a woman, and he had. Rogue wasn’t sure who had let it out of the bag that Rogue was older than they originally assumed, it could have been Ororo or Jean, hell, it could have even been Mystique, but Logan had found out somehow. It helped a little but really everyone, compared to Logan, were kids. He’d asked her about her past, now that she could remember more she could honestly tell him. It was like someone had given her a false past, making her believe she had grown up in the nineties rather than the decade she really had. What had really made them grow closer together, though, was that they had both been through too much, seen too much, done too much since they had first arrived at Xavier’s to pretend that things hadn’t changed. The way they were before was no more. Left in the wake of everything that had happened were two battle-worn souls in need of comfort and they found it in each other. He finally saw her as a woman in every way. She no longer saw him through the rose coloured glasses of her youth but saw him flaws and all, and she loved him even more deeply. Neither of them was perfect, they both had a lot of dark shadowed places inside, but they loved each other anyway and brought light to each other’s lives.

                        Rogue hated when Logan went away but she understood his reasons, knew he was still looking for answers, and knew that sometimes the Wolverine needed to run free. She knew what it felt like, had felt it before in her own mind, the imprint of his psyche branded onto hers long ago. So while she definitely understood, in a way no one else really could, she still missed him when he was away.

 

                                    _They say that things just cannot grow_

_Beneath the winter snow_

_Or so I have been told_

_They say we’re buried far_

_Just like a distant star_

_I simply cannot hold_

_Is love alive? is love alive? is love alive?_

_This is my winter song_

_December never felt so wrong_

_‘cause you’re not where you belong_

_Inside my arms_

 

                        The wind was cold as Logan rode his motorcycle down a winding road. He knew he still had a long way to go if he wanted to make it back to Xavier’s in time for Christmas. Christmas, he harrumphed to himself, used to be he hated the holiday, ‘bah humbug’ and all that Scrooge-like outlook. He wanted this year to be different, all because of a woman no less. Was he going soft? Maybe, but he didn’t think so, the Wolverine inside him growled at the thought. But even the Wolverine approved of Rogue, of Marie, even the Wolverine was drawn to her, more for primal reasons. Okay, so maybe Logan the man had softened a bit, but he was older, and it was perhaps because Rogue deserved a little tenderness in exchange for the hardships life had thrown at her that had hardened her. She had grown harder, he had grown softer, there was a weird balance there. He grunted at his thought process.

                        They had both been through hell lately. From his perspective he had learned more about his past. Learned a lot more about Charles and everyone else’s too but that was another matter entirely. Logan had also loved Jean but she had chosen Scott, rightfully so, but it still had hurt like hell for both men when they thought she had perished at Alkali Lake. Then she wasn’t dead, but she wasn’t the same. Then shit had hit the fan with her and Magneto and the government. Logan was a broken man after what he’d had to do at Alcatraz. He had to deal with that in his own way. He had come back home to find that Marie had taken the cure. She had said it was for herself but he knew better. She had tried to make a go of it, probably more for his sake than her own but when Bobby broke up with her for Kitty he couldn’t fault her for leaving. Logan had seen Rogue on rare occasions, she had done a pretty good impersonation of him, disappearing and only making her location known when and to whom she chose. Logan had grown restless, his own demons chasing him halfway around the world. At first he’d tried keeping in touch with Ororo every once in a while, she’d keep him informed on everyone. She’d told him that Rogue was still on the road, that she’d gone down south and met up with some Cajun she was dating. Ororo called the relationship tempestuous. Then the world flipped upside down again. Marie had gone back to Xavier’s, her powers had returned, so had Mystiques and Magneto’s. The whole debacle with Moira and Charles and his transferred consciousness. The alternate timeline that now was obsolete that sometimes left him confused about which version was real. After the timeline reset, after Jean and Scott and others had been saved he’d realized it felt different. He had been grieving for so long for Jean, been living with so much guilt that when she came back he was relieved but the feelings he’d had were different. He still felt a fondness for Jean, he knew he always would, but he just wanted her to be happy and he knew that, for her, that meant being with Scott. He’d found that somehow he’d moved on. It had been a strange awakening for him when he’d realized things between him and Rogue, or Marie as he’d call her privately, had changed.

                        She was most definitely a woman now, in maturity and in age. Apparently she had always been older, something he’d been clued into after his return. Learning that he wasn’t the only one with memory problems was sad but now he knew somebody who knew what it was like. He helped her through it and she helped him. They’d grown closer, he stopped resisting all the things he’d felt for her but thought she no longer reciprocated. She’d seemed to have lost the crush she’d had on him, instead he’d learned it had turned into something deeper. How had that happened? How had they gone through so much shit and come out the other side together with something that felt so good? They had gone from being buried in sadness and death to recovering their friends and rediscovering love. He knew that’s what it was, love. Love that had sprung up from what he thought was a cold barren wasteland he called life and blossomed into this warm all-encompassing thing.

                        Logan pulled his bike over to the shoulder of the back country road he was on so he could stretch his legs. He preferred the backroads over freeways. He sighed as he looked up at the night sky. The darkness of the low traffic road afforded him a better view of the stars in the clear sky. The lack of clouds meant it was colder, though. He loved the north and the wilderness but he hated how the cold made his adamantium encased bones feel. He wished he had Marie to help keep him warm, feel her soft curves pressed up to his side, but she wasn’t here, and right now, on the lonely road, she felt as far away as one of those distant stars in the sky.

                        Logan pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and turned it on. He hated the high-tech devices but he had to admit they came in handy, especially if one was a member of an elite mutant team. He also liked to hear Marie’s voice, even when she was many miles away. Which was why he was smiling now as he listened to her voice in a message she had left him, her southern accent lilting some of her words.

                        “Hey, sugar, just wanted to call and say hello. Hope everything is okay with you. Things are pretty chaotic here, y’know with Christmas and all,” he grunted with humour at her reminder of the holiday. “So just in case you were headin’ home soon thought I would give you a heads up that the meteorologists are calling for a bad snowstorm coming from offshore. ‘Ro said it will be a pretty big’un so please be careful. Miss ya’, sugar, hope to see you soon. Love ya.”

                        Logan turned the phone back off and put it in his pocket. He kicked the bike back to purring. He had the saddlebags filled with small gifts. Most of the gifts he’d gotten for the kids and staff he’d mailed to the school to Marie who had kindly already wrapped for him. The gifts for Marie he’d held onto. He pulled back onto the road knowing he had a long ride ahead of him if he was going to make it in time.

 

                             _I still believe in summer days_

_The seasons always change_

_And life will find a way_

_I’ll be your harvester of light_

_And send it out tonight_

_So we can start again_

_Is love alive? Is love alive? Is love alive?_

 

                        Rogue couldn’t help continuously looking out the window in the hopes of seeing Logan’s motorcycle roaring up the driveway. Professor Xavier and the rest of the faculty had made sure any kids going home for the holidays had safely gone of their way, some had left a few days ago, depending on how far away they lived. Still, there was always a small group that stayed at the school, usually because their mutations made them unwelcome at home. Charles always made sure they knew they were welcome at the mansion, he’d made Rogue and the other adults know it too.

                        Rogue had volunteered to make goodies and sweet treats with the remaining kids that wanted to. Ororo, Jubilee, Kitty and Bobby had decided to join in. Ororo was trying to bring some order to the chaos that was sugar cookie decorating. Jubilee, Kitty and Bobby were leading the pie making group. Rogue was showing her own group how to roll the peanut butter Buckeye candy to be dipped in chocolate. Once again Rogue was thankful she had learned decent control over her powers, doing this with her usual gloves would have been impossible.

                        “There are some incredibly delicious smells coming from this kitchen,” a deep voice said from the doorway. For a moment Rogue’s heart leapt at the deep voice until her brain registered it was too refined sounding. She turned around and saw the owner of the voice in all his furry blue glory. His work suit seemed wrong on him somehow, she had always thought.

                        “Hank!” Ororo exclaimed, dusting off her hands and rushing over to give her old colleague a hug.

                        “Hiya, blue dude,” Jubilee said with a friendly wave.

                        “Hello, everyone,” Hank said, showing a toothy smile. Some of the kids not familiar with him seemed wary.

                        “Hey, fur ball,” Rogue said in greeting, tossing one of the finished buckeye candies into the air towards him which he caught effortlessly in his mouth. He smacked his lips in appreciation and his antics seemed to put the nervous kids at ease, some of them were giggling.

                        “You stayin’ to help, Dr.McCoy?” Bobby asked.

                        “No, looks like you’ve got everything under control. Just thought I’d find the source of the lovely smell making my mouth water before meeting with the professor. Besides, no one likes cookies with blue fur in them,” he added with a wink and the youngest girl giggled behind her hand. “Can’t wait to taste everything,” he said then quit the room. After his footsteps had faded away Rogue glanced back out the window and sighed; still no sign of Logan.

                        “Looks like we’ll be having a white Christmas for certain,” Rogue said trying to sound excited for the kids who were looking forward to the winter wonderland. The kids rushed to look out the window to see the first flakes begin to spit out from the clouds, drifting down with the breeze. Ororo gave Rogue a look of concern that was part inquiry. All Rogue could do was shake her head ever so slightly indicating she had not heard word from Logan.

                        Later that night, long after dinner, after the kids had all eaten some of the cookies they had made and had some hot cocoa while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, left some cookies out for Santa with some milk and were all tucked into bed Rogue and the others were up late stuffing stockings and wrapping last minute gifts. Most of the kids were old enough to know about Santa but it was fun keeping the magic alive. Jean took forever at wrapping presents because she was a perfectionist and it had to be ‘just so’ and Scott couldn’t wrap worth a damn, Hank couldn’t wrap for Santa because blue fur trapped in the tape would be a dead giveaway. So they put them on stocking detail, Jean put names on the stockings, Hank divided the fillers, Scott filled the stockings. Bobby and Kitty were arranging the wrapped gifts under the tree. Piotr and Kurt were bringing in the gifts still hidden in one of the normally locked outbuildings. Ororo was helping them by creating a pocket of clear weather to walk in. The presents they were bringing in still needed to be wrapped, this task fell to Rogue, the Professor, Jubilee and, surprisingly, Raven, better known as Mystique.

                        Mystique was a woman that caused everyone a lot of mixed feelings, each for their own reasons. Unsurprisingly the ones most affected by her presence were the ones with the most history and ties to her. Kurt because he was still trying to cope with the revelation that she was his mother, Rogue herself for Raven’s role in her past, but they were working on that, Charles because apparently once upon a time he and Raven were like siblings in his eyes and her role in the Brotherhood broke his heart, and Hank, well, because he was in love with her. The fact that she was still here at the mansion meant that some of that affection was reciprocated and that she was attempting to make amends for her past actions.

                        They were a strange, motley crew. They had all been through a lot, this mutant family of theirs. Rogue guessed that it just showed that things change, nothing was constant, and sometimes things and people you thought you knew were not always destined to stay that way. Things were looking a little brighter. Wasn’t that what Christmas was originally about, the celebration of the days starting to get longer again, leaving the darker days behind, the sun would take dominance again, they were halfway out of the dark.

                        When all the presents were wrapped and put in their places, the rest of the adults yawned and shuffled off for a few hours of sleep before the morning they knew would start early with excited kids. Rogue went up to her room to retrieve the gifts she had for her friends and placed them under the tree. There were quite a few from her to Logan. They were gifts she knew he’d like, most of them practical. She knew he’d appreciate all of them, even the one she knew he’d consider frivolous. She liked making him smile, she liked bringing a little more light and happiness to his life. If happiness could be bottled and shared then she’d do so and hand it to him with a bow. She wished she could express to him just how happy he’d made her life, hoped it was a shared sentiment. She wished she could gather up that feeling of warmth and light he had put in her heart and shine it outwards like a beacon for him to find his way home.

 

                        No, this year hadn’t been an easy one, but it was ending on pretty good terms. It held hope for a bright new beginning in the New Year. Rogue looked out the window at the still falling snow and sighed. Oh how she missed Logan. Riding that bike of his in the snow wasn’t safe, but then again nothing about Logan was really safe, it seemed wrong to but she loved that about him.

 

                        Rogue looked at the clock, just after midnight, it was officially Christmas. She picked up one of the battery operated candles the students had used in their Holiday concert a few days ago and lit it. She set it in a window facing the driveway. She grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and curled up on the loveseat. She’d wait just a few moments more, she decided. She found solace in the quiet and the lights on the tree.

 

                              _This is my winter song_

_December never felt so wrong_

_Cause you’re not where you belong_

_Inside my arms._

_This is my winter song to you_

_The storm is coming soon_

_It rolls in from the sea_

_My love a beacon in the night_

_My words will be your light_

_To carry you to me_

_Is love alive? Is love alive? Is love alive? Is love alive…?_

 

                        Logan made his way through the front gate of Xavier’s school and, slip sliding along, made his way up the driveway with the intent of making it to the garage. It had seemed that the closer he got to the school on his ride all the way back home the worse the weather had gotten. His back tire slid violently on a patch of ice hidden under the snow. He got the bike under control and slowed to a stop. He decided to cut the engine and walk it the rest of the way. No one had shovelled or plowed the driveway, as it was the middle of the night, and so the snow was quite deep. Logan looked up as he trudged along and he noticed one single lighted candle in a window. Somehow he just knew that the candle was for him, left there by his Marie. He sighed and finished his hike to the garage with the quiet motorcycle.

                       

                        Once inside Logan pulled his bags from the bike and shook as much snow off of himself and then the bags as he could. He made his way as silently as he could through the hallway to where he knew that candle was lit, the living room where the tree was. He crept up to the doorway, sniffing the air as he went. He could smell Marie, knew she was still inside, could hear her even breathing and could tell she was asleep. His eyes confirmed what his other senses told him when he looked inside the room. Marie was curled up like a cat on the loveseat fast asleep. She looked so peaceful.

 

                        Trying not to wake Marie, Logan opened up his bag and hid his gifts for her under the tree. It wasn’t until he was reaching for the candle in the window that she woke up. She seemed a little dazed, a familiar reaction of someone who had fallen asleep in an unaccustomed place without meaning to. She blinked a few times then rubbed her eyes.

 

                        “Is that really you, or am I still dreaming?”

 

                        “It’s really me, kid,” he told her with a crooked smile.

 

                        “Didn’t think you’d make it with the snow storm.”

 

                        “For a few moments neither did I, got pretty bad out there.”

 

                        “Why didn’t yah stop somewhere?”

                       

                        “Listened to your voice on the phone, had to make it to ya, Marie. Thank you for the candle in the window,” Logan said then leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was quick and sweet. He held out his hand and she placed her gloved hand in his. She still insisted on wearing them to prevent accidents even though she could control her powers she might let her guard slip once in a while. Regardless, he was looking forward to divesting her of them and the many layers she was wearing. He had other ideas for warming them both up.

 

                        Rogue saw Logan’s eyes darken with desire, saw his nostrils flare and knew he could smell her own desire matched his. She smiled mischievously and he playfully growled. With a quiet giggle she took off in a quick sprint toward the stairs but Logan caught up to her quickly, lifting her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to his bedroom. There were still a few hours left before the students would wake. A time that would be spent warming each other’s hearts and bodies and maybe get in a few scant moments of sleep.

 

                        When morning broke they were both sated but not really rested when they made their way back downstairs to the tree. Everyone gathered around the twinkling spruce and when everyone had settled Hank started handing out the gifts. There was laughter and merriment in this family of choice.

 

                        Rogue couldn’t help the sparkle of teardrops on her lashes when she opened her special gift from Logan, a small pendant on a chain made in the shape of a wolverine. She put it on immediately, loving the symbolism of keeping the wolverine near her heart. The metal warmed by her skin, it gave her comfort the way his dog tags used to, a reminder of him to keep him close even if he was far. He smiled to see her wearing the gift, accepting it’s meaning so readily. He brought her hand to his mouth for a quick kiss.

 

                        Christmas day was enjoyable, everyone appreciating their gifts, taking pleasure in the company they kept and delighting in eating far too much food. The Professor read A Christmas Carol, doing all the voices quite convincingly. They sang carols and drank cocoa with candy canes. By the time the day ended everyone dragged themselves off to bed happy, still full of the magic of the day.

 

                        Rogue stood by the tree, Logan standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her in a contented embrace. He kissed her shoulder and she hummed appreciatively. She looked at the lights of the tree until her vision blurred, letting her mind wander. She knew this Christmas was special, it carried with it everything the holiday should – love, friendship and hope.


End file.
